I’m so over masculine + feminine
I almost never use these terms anymore.
They are so over used in the new age tantric community and feel redundant and obsolete.
Just unimaginative + lacklustre you know?
My current lover is the most androgynous I’ve ever had and the thing that I find so interesting is how he doesn’t come across as “feminine” to me.
In fact not. at. all.
I just find him to be incredibly natural, elemental and balanced.
There is this insurgence of highly “feminine” acting men (esp) in the new age scene
(much to the disappointment of so many spiritual chicks who want “a god damn warrior”)...
.. and those men,
..whether at the mercy of hormonal engineering,
..caught in the energetic pull to polarise the masculine acting women,
..or going to the opposite end of the spectrum in order to heal their own sacred “feminine” qualities + repair the broken and unhealthy aspects of their psyche...
or maybe just executing a ploy to lure in the shakti babes with their sanskrit lingo and transfiguration stares and tantric dick hugs..
... I don't know,
but either way, those new age guys never feel attractive to me.
In fact I’m actively turned off.
Maybe it’s because it doesn’t feel natural, there’s a striving, an extremism, an unbalanced-ness, an ungrounded quality.
Where as this glorious androgynous lover of mine feels exquisitely pure and balanced.
There’s a perfect neutrality to his being.
He exudes peace.
He’s possibly the first man in my life I have ever slept next to effortlessly.
He is the softest man I have ever been with, his energy is so exquisitely soft.
I could swear he’s made of dreams, organs wrapped in petals.
His skin is perfumed by the sea.
There’s also the whole polarisation push in “tantric” circles for men to be more masculine
aka David Deida superior man style..
which I can pretend to be turned on by and can momentarily be aroused by the passionate primal ravishment but it also doesn’t quite do it,
it’s not whole.
They feel hungry to me.
Like they haven't fed themselves.
Maybe that is the lack of connection with certain parts of themselves deemed "feminine"...
Maybe it's just all a quest to be reunited with our own hearts and to find a place to dwell within them.
Maybe this whole masc - femme thing is people having their connection from their sex and heart severed, their brain and bodies disconnected and simply seeking a way to come back to love.
Because fuck "masc" + "femme".
Which are such easily distorted terms, laden with dogma.
Heart centered people is where it's at.
Human beings that live from their heart, sex and minds combined.
Grounded + creative + loving + inspired.
The sexual connection with this guy is a harmonious dance.
Not a see-saw dynamic - prey + predator, damsel + conqueror, but a delicious delicate flowing.
No overt roles are played, just gorgeous nuances upon the same continuous melody.
I spoon him as much as he spoons me and it feels completely balanced.
He’ll hold me on his chest curled up like a child just as I’ll stroke his head whilst he sucks on my breast.
I’m on top often but he’s equally dictating the lovemaking.
We dissolve in the most precious sensual soft energetic space together stroking each others skin and there are moments of heat and friction and sparked fire - the thing is it just all feels so clean.
There's no trace of shame or distraction with performance.
Maybe there is a purity retained from his close relationship with nature and lack of exposure to things that cause us to get knotted up in kink obsessions + pornographic conditioning.
Things that take us out of our bodies, out of our hearts + out of perspective.
I don’t know.
I just know it’s fucking delicious, relieving and dare I say it.. rare.
I see how we balance each other out, but more so how we are quite balanced within ourselves.
The theory of polarisation would say we wouldn’t have chemistry.
but we do.
It’s a palpable heart skipping pussy throbbing electricity, but instead of it being a hot passion born from our groins it’s an overflowing feeling of love that’s poured over from our hearts.
There's so much more beyond our concepts of masc and femme.
There's our humanness. Our wholeness. The beauty of balance.
Our elemental, natural, nature which sways between all things.
I just don't think it's worth getting hung up about being more or less feminine or masculine, just being grounded + integrated holistically sounds a lot better to me.
We are all sensitive, vulnerable beings wanting love + connection.
It is such a lie to think of mens hearts as any less sensitive, tender or loving than a womans. That's just complete sexist bullshit.
Any masc or femme work should really just be taking people out into nature, getting them into their bodies, purging their shame, becoming comfortable in their vulnerability and letting them taste their sexuality, spirituality and love as one flowing elemental entity.
Allowing them to step back into orgasmic equilibrium.
I'm just musing on it all.
.. I am relieved when I see a mans heart in his eyes.. it means he has a peace, i do not have to bring him...
© Copyright 2017 ~ ALANA LOUISE MAY All Rights Reserved
Image by London Mahogany
This post was orignally just a Facebook rant. But here it is now. Follow me on Facebook for more discussions, beauty, passion and poetry. xx