Self Love is the New Dogma of I'm Not Good Enough

Image by Tamsin Swait

Image by Tamsin Swait

Self love is the new dogma of I’m not good enough.

You aren’t worthy of love if you haven’t reached the righteous heights of unconditional self adoration.

You are faulty.
A failure.

A perfect product of society.

Lacking the yogic muscular mastery of the elusive self love asana.


.. A phrase that permeates new age chick culture, the eating disorder of the mind, addicted to spiritual purging and purifying.

A demand
A command
A threat.

Because if you don't love yourself nobody else will.

You will be punished, locked in the prison of your own loveless doom.

Listening to the mixed messages will spawn insanity, the insidious consumer society's success predicated on your self hate and yet the spiritual rising asking why your heart chakra is failing? Paralyzed? Isn't aligned?

And they say, "As long as you love yourself it's okay"

Well what if I don’t? Are my experiences not valid then?

What about the days when my self love is fickle and unconditional,

When my inner dialogue is scornful and sour, when I struggle to make good choices

When I resent my appearance, my existence, am I not worthy of love then?

and if not then, in my dark and uncomfortable moments then when?

The goal of true unwavering unconditional self love has been attained by few.

So what if we stopped the shame around being late to arrive at the glorified destination, at having reached saint level enlightenment and instead praised our journey, the slow miraculous bloom of love upon desert plains, soil laced with poison, and scarce rain.

Despite the pain we still rise in love.

What if we praised The PRACTICE of self love?

of becoming in love.

The tedious awkward journey of unwinding the conditioning to self destruct and instead to patiently plant seeds for love to thrive.

To be compassionate with the deep ingrained thoughts of incessant criticism and self disgust and disappointment, to look into our own eyes with empathy and forgiveness.

To sit with our demons over cups of tea and hold ourselves in their emotional storms, to kiss our wounds with tender hearted lips and give thanks that we are so messed up, flawed and failing because we are me.


and that is where we will become free.

In the acceptance not the denial
In the relaxedness not the striving

Sitting in our realness in present time. With honest diplomatic reflection.

Getting real and getting dirty.

Finding freedom in the gentle cultivation of ourselves instead of the violent rejection of how we are, right now.

"Self Love", an ambiguous term used to shame & to fuel self hate.

How about Self Realness instead.

Self Rawness. Organic Self Appreciation, Awareness and Acknowledgment.

You’re doing okay.

Fuck I've come a long way.

and you know what?

I'm doing okay.


Go your own way.


© Copyright 2016 ~ ALANA LOUISE MAY All Rights Reserved

Image by Tamsin Swait, check out her flickr here

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