Staying Awake in End Times, Please Don't Give Up.
This morning I was a mess, twisted up and crying, lost & consumed in my suffering.
Then I read an article about earthquakes that have been happening and predicted catastrophic earthquakes that are coming.
Pre-apocalyptic type earthquakes.
And Fuck. I slammed straight into some cold hard perspective.
Fuck. Seems to be the only appropriate word to encapsulate all I am feeling.
I can’t believe I could get so caught up in my own insular little world and lose sight even for a moment the end times that we are facing.
I can't believe I had the audacity to plan for a week in advance, making appointments and plans when our species is on the brink of extinction.
I can’t believe I wasted so much time being so fucking serious when doomsday could be any of these tomorrows.
Or any of these todays.
I stay informed, I stay updated, I read the articles and wash them down with a grain of salt because you never really know.
The truth has been so manipulated, the level of creativity that is dictating our confusion is masterful.
How can we ever trust any information ever again? When we have been lied to within our mothers wombs - when we have been deceived before conception.
I feel as if I am walking on a tightrope, by staying informed and open to what is happening on this planet and yet still choosing to move forward in my own personal life.
It is a mother fucking narrow tightrope to tread.
Swaying and unsteady under my feet, coarse and unreliable.
It takes such delicate balance. Grounded but not buried, Awake but not anxious.
It is so hard to feel that my dreams matter when we are literally facing end days here on earth.
It is so fucking excruciating to feel the suffering on this planet and to not let it take me under,to not let this sick fucking destruction and evil drown and overwhelm me.
Because that's what they want.
..and if you are one of those people that are always asking “who's they?” really, if you don't have some vague idea by now that there are some beings in power that are killing life on this planet as we know it then I’m not sure if anything I can say will help you. If you don't have a sense that we are in an evolve-or-die-this-is-fucking-it scenario then I'm unsure as to why you are even reading this.
The fact is I don't fucking know.
I really don't know shit.
and that's enlightenment right there hey, getting to the point of the ultimate infinite “I don't knows” .. but it doesn't feel like it.
It feels empty. Desolate. Terror-filled. Alone.
And yet we are all alone in it together.
If this ship is going down we're all going down with it. (Except those of us that have teamed up with benevolent aliens.)
When these topics get opened hearts shut down.
Most people won't even dare feel the uncomfortable reality of the annihilation we are facing.
It feels so out of our control, so completely out of our hands.
What the fuck can we do?
What is the point in trying anyway?
How can we possibly navigate our own lives, filled with our precious dreams & uniqueness and yet still dare to care enough to stay in reality?
How can we stay grounded and awake amidst the forces that attempt to overwhelm, distract and confuse us and yet not get bogged down in it all- but move forward with momentum and courage?
I don’t have any answers for you. Fuck, I don't have any answers for me.
But I know that we can’t give up.
As much as it can feel pointless with our heads strapped into the guillotine and the crowd counting down as the axe is ready to fall.
We’ve gotta keep perspective
We’ve gotta open up the dialogue
We’ve gotta be fucking brave
We’ve gotta just do what we can every fucking day, to love, to heal, to learn, to evolve, to get organised
We’ve gotta keep our eyes open - our heads above the quicksand
We’ve got to remember to enjoy these lives while we have them..
and reclaim what has always been ours.
I don't have the answers, I wish I did.
A plan of attack, a strategy, a way to win against all the odds..
What I do have is a belief in Us.
Collectively creating a way to continue the human race, a way for Equality to reign supreme, next to Love and Consciousness and Truth.
Without hope I would have given up long ago.
Please hang in there with me.
I love you all. Let's not give up just yet.
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